


I Could Love You More

by KuriKuri



Category: Shiritsu Horitsuba Gakuen, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, From Sex to Love, Fuckbuddies, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuriKuri/pseuds/KuriKuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I have to get back to my place to change, so the students don’t start getting the wrong idea. Wouldn’t want people to start gossiping, would we, Kuro-pon?”</p>
<p>Kurogane bites his tongue and doesn’t point out that if Fai is so worried about not going to school in last night’s clothes, it would be so much more expedient for him to just keep a drawer here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Love You More

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god i haven't thought about tsubasa in five year and i've suddenly been sucked right back in. what has my life become?
> 
> _story notes:_ while this is highly influenced by shiritsu horitsuba gakuen, there are a few differences - for example, fai's twin is not alive in this fic. also it's been a long time since i read tsubasa, so i apologize if some of the characterizations are off. also, side-pairings include toya/yukito, syaoran/sakura, and one-sided tomoyo/sakura.
> 
> WARNINGS: vague references to abuse/neglect (pretty minor), talk of kurogane's parents' deaths

When Kurogane wakes up, Fai’s already half dressed. Kurogane watches tiredly as he plucks his shirt up off the floor, wrinkled as he slides it on. It’s not exactly an uncommon scene for Kurogane to wake up to – really, he should be glad he even caught Fai before he left – but he can’t help but scowl.

“What are you doing up so early?” Kurogane grumbles, his voice rough. “Some people are trying to sleep, idiot.”

“Ahhh, you know how it goes, Kuro-rin,” Fai replies, tone light as he finishes buttoning up his shirt and tries to straighten out his hair. “I have to get back to my place to change, so the students don’t start getting the wrong idea. Wouldn’t want people to start gossiping, would we?”

Kurogane bites his tongue and doesn’t point out that if Fai is so worried about not going to school in last night’s clothes, it would be so much more expedient for him to just keep a drawer here.

“Well, I’ll see you at school then, Kuro-sama,” Fai says, flashing him a bright smile. A fond warmth builds in Kurogane’s chest, and part of him wishes he could claw it out and not be so damn affected every time Fai so much as looks at him.

Kurogane grunts something in response, and a few minutes later he hears the click of the front door as Fai shuts it behind himself.

It’s not like he hadn’t known what he was getting himself into with Fai. Not in the most straightforward sense. Fai had hardly been subtle in his flirting, and as annoying as he is, he’s also goddamn _attractive_. Falling into bed after that had been all too easy – a few too many drinks at one of Yūko’s parties, some sloppy kisses in a secluded corner.

Kurogane’s no stranger to one-night-stands. In fact, he has far more experience with them than he does with relationships. So it should have been simple, this tryst with Fai.

Keywords being “should have.”

They’ve been sleeping together for almost a year now, and Kurogane can’t remember the last time he was so gone on someone. He’s thought about trying to date Fai, but he’s so goddamn skittish, always leaving at the crack of dawn, never letting them do anything together without it eventually leading to fucking. Hell, Kurogane doesn’t even think he’s ever seen Fai’s place – somehow they always end up at Kurogane’s apartment.

Kurogane lets out a frustrated noise, rolls over to the other side of the bed, still warm with Fai’s residual body-heat, and goes back to sleep.

\---

“Someone had a bad night,” Yūko says with a sly smile when Kurogane stomps into the staff room later that morning. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Shut up,” Kurogane growls.

“Is that any way to speak to your boss?” Yūko asks, arching an eyebrow at him, but Kurogane just rolls his eyes. She might technically be his boss, but she sure doesn’t act like it, and he’s ninety-nine percent sure she’d never actually fire him anyway. She’d have to find a new physical education teacher, then.

“You and Flourite get into some sort of fight?” Tōya asks, looking up from the papers he’s grading.

“No,” Kurogane snaps, which, in hindsight, probably makes his answer less convincing than he was going for.

“You do realize that everyone already knows about you two, right?” Tōya replies, looking less than impressed with Kurogane’s answer.

“There’s nothing going on between us,” Kurogane replies, his voice cold. It’s technically a lie, he supposes, but at the same time he and Fai aren’t actually in a relationship – not like everyone else seems to think they are.

“And Yukito and I are just friends,” Tōya drawls, and Kurogane finds himself sorely wishing that Tōya were student, so he could give the smug bastard detention.

“I’m sure if you take him out for dinner and grovel a bit he’ll forgive you,” Yūko says with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Maybe even get down on your knees for it.”

“I don’t know, I saw Flourite-sensei this morning and he didn’t look like he was in a bad mood,” Yukito muses, and Kurogane turns to find him leaning against the counter next to the coffeemaker. “He was whistling, even.”

Kurogane grimaces. “Whistling” is a generous term for the godawful sound Fai makes when he’s attempting to whistle. Still, it’s more than a little disheartening to hear that while he’s having some sort of emotional breakdown over their not-relationship, Fai’s doing just fine.

“Oh really?” Yūko asks, looking interested.

Kurogane glares at Yukito, Tōya, and Yūko and decides that maybe it’s time for a strategic retreat. Fucking gossip mongers.

In the end, leaving the staff room doesn’t do him much good, because when he unlocks his office door, he finds Fai somehow already inside, sprawled over his desk chair. It’s not exactly an uncommon sight, Fai invading his office, but right now the secret fondness he normally feels upon seeing Fai is distinctly absent.

“Get out of my chair,” Kurogane snaps, but there’s no real heat behind it. Fai grins at him in response, seeing through him.

“Not happy to see me, Kuro-mun?” Fai asks, not budging from his spot in Kurogane’s chair.

“Don’t you have a class to teach?” Kurogane replies, scowling.

“Free period,” Fai chirps, straightening up in the chair as Kurogane moves towards him. “Just like you.”

“You know my schedule?” Kurogane asks, his brow furrowing. Then again, they do spend a considerable amount of time together, and Fai’s much more observant than he pretends to be.

“Awww, Kuro-chi, I just came by because I thought we could have some fun,” Fai says, standing up from the chair and reaching forward to hook a finger in the elastic of Kurogane’s track-pants. Kurogane feels himself flush with heat at the brush of Fai’s fingers against his skin.

Doing this now is a _terrible_ idea. Not because he’s worried about getting caught – it would hardly be the first time they’ve had sex in his office – but because he’s not sure how much more of this – this fucking _pining_ he can take.

Really, the healthy thing to do would have been to call off this arrangement of theirs as soon as he’d realized he wanted more from Fai than just sex.

Instead, he leans in to kiss at Fai’s neck.

“Mmm, Kuro-sama,” Fai says, tilting his head back to give Kurogane better access, a hand coming up to tangle in Kurogane’s hair.

Kurogane’s long since learned not to protest the nicknames – not during sex, at least. Still, he bites Fai a little harder for it, not that that’s much of a deterrent if the way Fai’s breath hitches is any indication.

Fai retaliates by leaning in to nip at his earlobe, and then murmurs, “I wanna blow you,” his breath hot against Kurogane’s neck. It feels like all the blood in his body rushes south when Fai says that, and he readily lets Fai push him down into his desk chair, legs falling open. Fai makes quick work of his belt, shoving his pants and underwear down far enough to get at his cock, hard and wet with precome.

Kurogane’s more than a little entranced by how good Fai looks as he drops to his knees. He should be over this by now, he thinks – this is far from the first time they’ve done this – but when Fai looks up at him through pale blond eyelashes and smirks, Kurogane feels completely off balance.

Then, Fai leans in and sucks the head of Kurogane’s cock into his mouth. Kurogane has to bite his lip to keep from swearing. Fai’s mouth feels so good around him, hot and wet. Kurogane reaches a hand forward to thread his fingers through Fai’s soft blond hair – not pulling, because Fai hates that, but just holding him. He can feel Fai settle back into the touch slightly, mouth still working around Kurogane’s cock.

Kurogane can’t help the little moan that escapes him when Fai pulls back slightly to tease the head of his cock with his tongue, fingers digging into Kurogane’s thighs as he bobs back down, taking Kurogane further into his mouth. He hums a little, because he likes working Kurogane up, apparently, but chokes a little when Kurogane can’t quite keep his hips from twitching up, driving him further down Fai’s throat.

“Fuck, sorry – ” Kurogane manages, trying to pull back, but Fai doesn’t let him, instead taking him right back down again. This time, though, he moves his hands up a little further to better pin Kurogane down.

“Shit,” Kurogane groans as Fai continues to suck, and he can already feel his orgasm building, making his toes tingle. “Fuck, Fai – ”

Fai doesn’t pull off, though, just swallows as Kurogane comes with a grunt, spilling into Fai’s mouth. Fai’s almost _smug_ about it, really – that he can swallow without choking when Kurogane always ends up coughing and sputtering, glaring at Fai when he laughs and says that he doesn’t _have_ to swallow, if he doesn’t want to. Fai knows damn well that if he’s going to be a showoff about swallowing, then Kurogane’s damn well going to try to match him.

“Get up here,” Kurogane orders, his voice rough even though he wasn’t the one giving the blow job. Fai slides into his lap easily, and Kurogane practically rips open his pants to get at his cock, hard and pressing against the constraining fabric.

“Kuro – ” Fai gasps, but his voice peters out into a moan before he can tack on one of his stupid suffixes. Kurogane strokes him quickly, a little roughly maybe, and he can feel Fai’s fingers digging into his shoulders.

Fai’s lets out a soft whine, hips twitching, fucking up into Kurogane’s hand. Kurogane leans forward to bite at Fai’s neck, at the sensitive spot just under Fai’s jaw, and Fai’s hips stutter as he comes with a low moan, spilling into Kurogane’s hand and making a mess of his shirt.

They stay like that for a moment, panting, Kurogane’s lips still against Fai’s skin.

“Looks like I ruined another one of your shirts, Kuro-pon,” Fai says with a grin, finally breaking the silence.

“I should start making you do my laundry, at this rate,” Kurogane grumbles. Which makes him think about them doing their laundry together, and how nice and domestic that would be.

… he’s sitting in his office with come drying on his shirt and he’s thinking about doing _laundry_ together. What the _fuck_.

“If ‘doing your laundry’ is a euphemism for something, I’ll gladly accept,” Fai replies with a wicked grin, and Kurogane rolls his eyes.

“You’re lucky I keep a change of clothes here,” Kurogane huffs, but doesn’t push Fai away to start cleaning up, hands still resting comfortably on Fai’s hips. Truth be told, he wouldn’t be opposed to curling up together for a nap right about now.

Unfortunately, he has class in – he glances up at the clock – twenty minutes.

“Let’s go – ” _get some tea from the staff room_ , Kurogane starts.

“Mmm, yeah, I have to set up for lab,” Fai says before Kurogane can finish, picking himself up off of Kurogane’s lap and stretching like a satisfied cat before straightening out his clothing. There’s the beginnings of a hickey right below his jaw, though, which betrays their activities. “I’ll see you later, Kuro-pipi!”

Fai’s out the door before Kurogane can get a word in edgewise, leaving him alone with come still drying on his shirt.

He stares at the ceiling for a moment, wondering why he keeps letting himself do this.

\---

If Kurogane’s luck wasn’t bad enough already, he has Tomoyo in one of his classes later that morning. He’s mostly used to having her as a student by now, but she can always tell when his gruff mood is just his personality and when he’s in a truly foul mood.

It comes with having grown up together, he supposes. She’s effectively his little sister – her mother had legally adopted him after his own parents passed (his father, a police officer, shot on duty, and his mother killed by a bad bout of pneumonia). Apparently, she was an old friend of his mother’s, but he’d never met her before the funeral. Sonomi Daidōji is a nice person, though, and has treated him as her own since he was fourteen.

Tomoyo had only been five years old when he joined the family, tiny and innocent, but she’d also been the only one able to get through to him when he was still caught up in grief and anger. Granted, “getting through to him” had mainly consisted of demanding he give her piggy back rides and giving him hugs when she “thought he looked sad.” (Hell, she _still_ demands piggy back rides sometimes, even though she’s much heavier nowadays.)

“You should take me out for lunch,” Tomoyo says when she corners him after gym class, an all too familiar determined look on her face.

“Don’t you have friends to eat lunch with, princess?” Kurogane snorts. The nickname’s an old one, from back when Tomoyo was little and would force him to have tea parties with her and her dolls, and it should come out patronizing, but instead it’s just fond.

“They can survive without me for a day,” Tomoyo replies, a little dismissively. “Sakura and Syaoran will probably appreciate the alone time, even.”

“I didn’t need to know that,” Kurogane says, grimacing.

“Not like _that_ ,” Tomoyo huffs. “And for inflicting that mental image on me, you should take me out for ramen.”

“Your mom will kill me if she finds out I’m letting you eat that crap,” Kurogane grumbles.

“You take me out for lunch like twice a year,” Tomoyo snorts, giving him a look. “I doubt that haven ramen that often is going to kill me.”

Kurogane rolls his eyes, but says, “Alright, go get changed.”

Which is how he finds himself picking at a bowl of pork ramen while his sixteen year old sister interrogates him about his bad mood. How has his life come to this?

“Is it Flourite-sensei?” Tomoyo asks, and Kurogane shoots her a sharp glare. “You know, everyone thinks you’re dating.”

“We’re your teachers. I shouldn’t be gossiping about it with you,” Kurogane grumbles, scowling.

“Yeah, but you’re also my brother,” Tomoyo replies, arching an eyebrow at him. “And I’m asking as your sister, not your student.”

“Fine,” Kurogane says. “Yes, it does have to do with Fai. It’s complicated, though.”

“You know, he flirts with you a lot,” Tomoyo points out. “If you’re worried about him not being attracted to you – ”

“That’s not the issue,” Kurogane huffs, fiddling with his chopsticks.

Tomoyo stares at him for a second, her eyes gone wide, and then blurts out, “Oh my god, did you – ?”

“I am _not_ talking about this with you,” Kurogane snaps, his cheeks flushing.

“Why didn’t you _tell_ me you two had gotten together, you idiot?” Tomoyo demands, her expression almost a pout.

“Because we _haven’t_ ,” Kurogane grits out. “We just… have an arrangement.”

“Oh, Kurogane,” Tomoyo says, her tone going soft, enthusiasm gone. There’s something akin to pity in her eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Kurogane grumbles. “It’s not a bad set up.”

“Except for the fact that you’re in love with him,” Tomoyo replies, catching Kurogane off guard.

“I am not – !” Kurogane protests, but he knows it’s no use. Tomoyo knows him better than anyone. It’s useless trying to lie to her.

“You always care so deeply for people when you finally let them in,” Tomoyo says, her voice soft.

They lapse into silence for a moment, both of them picking at their ramen.

“Um,” Tomoyo finally says, breaking the silence, more tentative than Kurogane can ever remember hearing her. “If it helps, you’ll probably get over it eventually. If Flourite-sensei doesn’t like you back, that is. Sakura-chan and I are still good friends.”

Kurogane still doesn’t know how Sakura picked that Syaoran kid – as nice as he is – over his little sister. He also doesn’t tell Tomoyo that what he feels for Fai is a little different than being sixteen and having a crush. Not that he doubts that Tomoyo cares about Sakura, it’s just… different.

“Hey, eventually the girls in your grade will get their heads out of their asses are realize what an amazing catch you are,” Kurogane says, trying not to sound too sappy. Going by the small smile on Tomoyo’s face, it’s appreciated.

“Flourite-sensei does really seem to like you, though,” Tomoyo replies, steering the conversation back to the subject Kurogane’s mostly been trying to avoid. “And you’re friends, so if you try asking him out and he says no, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Sakura and I – ”

“Tomoyo,” Kurogane sighs, wondering how to phrase this. “Your relationship with Sakura and my relationship with Fai are very different.”

Which is an understatement, really. Sakura, from what he’s seen of her, is all soft smiles, understanding, and unconditional love, but Fai…

Fai’s skittish, first and foremost. He acts like a social butterfly, and it had taken Kurogane a long time to really realize that Fai actually doesn’t have that many friends. Not close ones, anyway. At the risk of sounding arrogant, there’s him, and then there’s Yūko and, well. That’s it. Kurogane’s not even a terribly friendly person, but he’s got more people than that: Tomoyo, Sōma, Amaterasu, Kusanagi, if he’s feeling generous. And Fai, of course.

So he really can’t afford to destroy any of Fai’s friendships, even if they’ve already messed it up somewhat with the sex they’ve been having.

Not only that, but Fai’s a very private person, Kurogane’s come to realize. As it is, he knows barely anything about Fai’s past, although he has his guesses. It hasn’t escaped Kurogane’s notice that Fai has a soft spot for a certain type of kids: Syaoran and Watanuki, sixteen but emancipated minors, living on their own; Sakura, who’s being raised by her older brother.

Kurogane’s thought about broaching the topic before, maybe by admitting a bit of his own past. He’s never been able to summon the courage to, though.

“Kurogane?” Tomoyo says, and Kurogane realizes he’s drifted off in his thoughts.

“I’ll think about telling him,” Kurogane finally replies, feeling a little bad about lying to her, but she’s nothing if not stubborn, and he knows that if he’d tried to resist she’d just keep badgering him.

Tomoyo shoots him a smile and Kurogane glares down at his ramen.

\---

The last place Kurogane expects to see Fai is at Cat’s Eye, a small café not too far away from Kurogane’s apartment. It’s Sunday morning and Kurogane’s out for a run when he sees a shock of blond hair, out of place in the sea of black and dark brown that is Tokyo.

Kurogane recognizes Fai almost immediately, but he freezes when he sees that Fai’s not the only blond sitting at the table outside the café.

There’s a woman across from him. Her hair is ever so slightly darker than Fai’s, but it’s distinctive enough that Kurogane’s sure he would have remembered seeing her before. She laughs at something that Fai says, pure happiness on her face, and Fai smiles back, his expression brighter than Kurogane’s ever seen it.

Kurogane’s heart drops. He’s imagined up a million reasons why Fai wouldn’t want to date him, but somehow him having a fucking _girlfriend_ wasn’t one of them.

Before he can flee the scene to go lick his wounds, though, the woman’s eyes land on him. The smile slips off her face and her brow furrows. Kurogane realizes he should avert his eyes, now that he’s been caught staring, but before he’s able to, Fai turns around to follow the woman’s gaze.

Kurogane fully expects Fai to brush off the situation and claim he’s never seen Kurogane before in his life, but to his surprise, Fai calls out, “Kuro-tan!”

For a moment, Kurogane freezes, indecisive, but eventually he manages to make his way over to the table where Fai and the unfamiliar woman are seated.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Fai says lightly, although his smile is a little strained.

“I was out for a run,” Kurogane answers, his tone gruff. “We’re not too far from my place.”

“Right, of course,” Fai replies.

“You’re Kurogane-sensei?” the woman across the table asks, her voice soft. Kurogane blinks, wondering why Fai would even talk about him to this stranger.

“Ah, yes, introductions. Chii, Kurogane,” Fai says, gesturing towards Kurogane. “Kuro-puu, this is my younger sister, Chii.”

Kurogane blinks for a moment, processing this new information. He suddenly feels like a jealous idiot for jumping to conclusions. (Not that he isn’t, of course – a jealous idiot, that is.)

Fai must read something else into his pause, though, because he adds, “We were both adopted.”

That does explain why, beyond their pale features, they don’t actually look that similar. Still, this is the most information Kurogane’s learned about Fai’s past, ever, and it’s a bit to take in, even if it isn’t actually a whole lot. Really, beyond Fai having a sister, it’s only confirming his previous suspicions.

“Would you like to have breakfast with us?” Chii asks, surprising Kurogane. He stiffens a little, looking towards Fai to gage his reaction.

“Chii, I’m sure Kuro-sama – ” Fai starts, and there’s a nervous edge to his tone.

“Please?” Chii interrupts, looking at Fai with a softly pleading expression. “I want to actually get to know some of your friends.” She turns her gaze on Kurogane. “I would really like it if you stayed, Kurogane-sensei.”

Kurogane pauses for a moment, considering his options.

“Alright,” he replies, pulling out an unoccupied chair. Chii looks delighted.

“So you teach physical education?” Chii asks, seeming genuinely interested.

“That and an elective self-defense class,” Kurogane answers. “You?”

“I’m still a college student,” Chii replies with a smile. “I’m studying graphic design and just came back from a year abroad in Sweden. Have you ever been?”

“I haven’t,” Kurogane answers. Truthfully, he hasn’t even left the country before, much less gone halfway around the world to Europe. He’s never exactly been one for travel.

“It’s a nice place, but very cold,” Chii says. “I can see why Fai’s apartment always feels like an icebox now.”

Kurogane shoots Fai an inquisitive look.

“I was born in Sweden, and lived there until I was ten,” Fai explains. With his fluent Japanese, Kurogane had always assumed that Fai had been born in Japan to immigrant parents, but this is an equally reasonable explanation.

“You speak Swedish, then?” Kurogane asks, frowning. He’s certainly never heard Fai speak anything but Japanese (except for English, once, when he was helping a lost tourist).

“Ett språk är aldrig nog,” Fai answers cheerily. Kurogane blinks at him for a second, trying to process the strange jumble of sounds. Chii, across the table from them, giggles.

“Do you speak any other languages, Kurogane-sensei?” Chii questions curiously.

“I learned some English in school, but I was never very good at it,” Kurogane answers, shrugging. “Language has never been my thing.”

“I’m not very good at languages either,” Chii commiserates. “But Fai knows three! I’m a little jealous.”

“Ah, that’s just because I thought about becoming a linguist for a little while,” Fai interjects. Kurogane’s never liked the way Fai downplays his intelligence, and part of him wants to protest, but he lets it slide this time. There’s no need to argue with Fai about his self-deprecation in front of his sister.

“How’d you decide to become a teacher, then?” Kurogane asks, honestly curious. He and Fai have never really discussed it before.

Fai looks over at him, a little startled. He hesitates for a moment, and then says, “I guess I just wanted to help kids.”

It’s probably the most honest answer Fai’s ever given him, and Kurogane has to resist the urge to reach across the table and twine their fingers together.

God, he’s becoming such a sap.

“Why did you decide to become a teacher, Kurogane-sensei?” Chii asks, propping her elbows up on the table and placing her chin on her hands.

“Because kids don’t complain about you correcting their kata stance like adults do,” Kurogane snorts. “I tried teaching classes at my friend Sōma’s kendo studio for a while but didn’t have the patience for it.”

“Hyuu, Kuro-sensei’s so demanding,” Fai laughs, making that stupid not-actually-whistling noise of his.

“At least I don’t blow up something in the lab every other week,” Kurogane grumbles, shooting a glare at Fai.

“Are you accusing me of being irresponsible, Kuro-puu?” Fai says, mock-pouting.

“Blowing things up?” Chii interjects, sounding concerned. “You’re not doing anything dangerous, are you, Fai?”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing, Chii,” Fai answers quickly. “Everything’s in a controlled environment and none of my students have ever gotten hurt.”

Kurogane carefully doesn’t point out that while none of the _students_ have ever gotten hurt, Fai once burned a fairly large patch of skin off the back of his hand while pushing a student out of the way of the accident.

“That’s good,” Chii says softly, a small smile on her face. “I just worry sometimes.”

“As any good sister would,” Fai replies, returning her smile.

For a moment, Kurogane feels distinctly out of place.

“I should get going,” Kurogane says abruptly, standing up from the table, drawing both Fai and Chii’s attention to him.

“You don’t have to – ” Fai starts, frowning slightly.

“I have some errands to run,” Kurogane replies, shaking his head.

“Alright then,” Fai says. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, then, Kuro-mun.”

Kurogane grunts a reply, and then leaves to finish his run. He spends the rest of the day trying to process all of his newfound information about Fai.

\---

Their routine continues almost as if nothing has changed – and really, not much _has_. The only difference is that Kurogane now knows that Fai has a sister, was adopted when he was ten, and was born in Sweden.

Fai’s still stays the night at Kurogane’s place more often than not, but occasionally he cancels in order to do something with Chii. Still, outside of school, most of their interactions are directly related to sex, and Kurogane shouldn’t try to pretend that it’s any different now that he knows a little bit about Fai’s personal life.

Thursday night, Fai shows up at his door, a bottle of Swedish vodka in one hand and take out from the Korean place a block away in the other. At least Kurogane now knows where Fai gets his horrible taste in alcohol from. Then again, he couldn’t have been drinking much alcohol when he was ten, so maybe his bad taste is just something inherent.

“You know, both of us have to teach tomorrow,” Kurogane says, arching an eyebrow at the bottle of vodka.

“Just a little bit won’t hurt us,” Fai replies cheerily, pushing past Kurogane into the apartment and plopping down on the couch like he owns the place. With how often he’s over, though, Kurogane really should be making him pay rent.

“You wouldn’t know the definition of ‘a little bit’ if it punched you in the face,” Kurogane snorts, prying the bottle from Fai’s hands. “We’re not getting drunk tonight.”

“But Kuro-rin’s such a _fun_ drunk,” Fai whines, pouting slightly. He doesn’t try to snatch the vodka back from Kurogane, though.

“We can get drunk on Friday,” Kurogane allows, making his way to the kitchen to stash the vodka on one of the higher shelves while Fai starts setting out food on the coffee table.

Kurogane’s pulling plates out of one of the cupboards when he hears a loud sneeze from the other room. He pokes his head back through the doorway to find Fai rubbing his nose, face scrunched up in displeasure. Now that Kurogane is taking a moment to really look at Fai, he looks remarkably tired. There are dark spots under his eyes, and his normal exuberance is somewhat dimmed. Really, the fact that Fai didn’t even try to get the vodka back should have been an immediate warning sign.

“You doing okay?” Kurogane asks, frowning.

“Aw, are you worried about me, Kuro-pon?” Fai asks, a teasing smile on his face.

“I just don’t want you spreading your germs over my entire apartment,” Kurogane snorts, not admitting that _yeah_ , he is worried.

“It’s nothing,” Fai replies, waving off his concerns. Kurogane studies him carefully for a moment, but doesn’t call out his lie.

They make idle conversation as they eat, although Kurogane can tell that Fai’s trying harder than usual to put on a cheery, hyper façade, picking at his food without really eating it. He keeps sneezing, too, but Kurogane doesn’t directly comment on it, just pushes a box of tissues closer to him.

Fai sidles up behind Kurogane once they finish eating and cleaning up, and slides his hands up under Kurogane’s shirt.

“What did I say about getting your germs on everything?” Kurogane grumbles, making Fai pout.

“It’s kind of hard to have sex if I can’t touch you,” he says, but then smirks. “I’m sure we could figure something out, though. Want me to put on a show for you, Kuro-sama?”

“No,” Kurogane replies, prying Fai’s hands off of him and turning around to face him. “You’re not up to it tonight.”

“Sure I am,” Fai protests, hooking a finger through Kurogane’s belt-loop.

“You look like you’re barely staying awake,” Kurogane snorts. “I’m not going to have sex with you if you’re going to fall asleep in the middle of it.”

“I could be into that, you know,” Fai replies, arching an eyebrow at Kurogane.

“Well _I’m_ not, and you’re ill,” Kurogane says. “You should get some rest.”

“You’re kicking me out?” Fai asks, frowning, his brow furrowing. “So cruel, Kuro-rin.”

“I’m not kicking you out,” Kurogane sighs, which only seem to make Fai more confused. “It’s already ten and I don’t want you fainting on the subway.”

“Ah,” Fai replies, still sounding a little confused. “I can take the couch, I suppose.”

“You’re not taking the fucking couch,” Kurogane huffs, frustrated that despite being friends and sleeping together for so long Fai seems utterly baffled by the thought of Kurogane taking care of him. “It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before.”

“Alright, Kuro-chi,” Fai finally says. “I don’t have any pajamas, though. Are you sure you’ll be able to resist me in my underwear?”

“Just borrow some of mine,” Kurogane replies, rolling his eyes. “And I can resist your ‘charms’ just fine.”

It’s a lie, actually, but Fai doesn’t need to know that.

“You’re so mean,” Fai sighs overdramatically. “At least _pretend_ I control your entire life.”

He’s clearly joking and the idea that Fai controls his entire life might be taking things too far, but not for the first time, Kurogane wonders if Fai somehow _knows_ about his stupid crush. Fai’s not cruel, though, and Kurogane’s reasonably certain that Fai wouldn’t jerk him around like this if he actually knew.

“Just go get ready for bed,” Kurogane huffs. “I’ll try to find you something that fits.”

In the end, nothing really fits. Despite the fact that the two of them are around the same height, Kurogane’s considerably broader than Fai, and every article of clothing looks like it’s a wrong move away from falling off of Fai’s slim frame entirely.

“Mmm, so we’re going for easy access, are we?” Fai asks, indicating the way Kurogane’s pajama pants cling loosely to his hips, riding down low enough to expose the sharp cut of Fai’s hipbones.

“Just shut up and get to bed,” Kurogane growls, trying to fight the blush creeping up his neck.

“Who am I to deny an attractive man demanding – ” Fai starts, his tone dramatic, but he’s cut off by a loud sneeze, his face scrunching up comically. Kurogane has to bite his lip to hold in a sharp laugh.

“Go to sleep before you hurt yourself,” Kurogane, pulling back the covers.

“As you wish, Kuro-sama,” Fai replies, but the nasally, stuffy tone to his voice ruins it. Kurogane just rolls his eyes.

Fai crawls into bed and drifts off almost immediately, betraying how exhausted he must have been. Kurogane, however, has a harder time falling asleep. He doesn’t know how long he lies away, staring at the ceiling and listening to the soft – slightly nasally from the sickness – sounds of Fai breathing.

Eventually sleep does claim him, though, as he lies stiffly on his back and tries not to think about Fai lying next to him, for once not post-coital.

\---

Kurogane wakes up slowly, comfortably warm. It takes him a moment to register that, for once, he’s not the only one in his bed. Fai’s still sound asleep, curled up against Kurogane’s chest, hot breath ghosting over his collar bone. It’s the first time Kurogane’s ever woken up before Fai, and the entire situation is a little disorienting. Not unpleasant, but just… strange.

He glances over at his clock and realizes he still has about fifteen minutes before his alarm is supposed to go off. He’s awake, though, so he figures he might as well just get up now. However, when he attempts to extract himself from Fai’s grip, trying carefully not to wake him, Fai stirs, blinking open sleepy blue eyes.

“Kuro-mun?” Fai asks, his voice croaky. Kurogane grimaces – that’s certainly not a good sign. The pink flush of Fai’s cheeks and the way he sniffles also doesn’t bode well for his overall health.

“Go back to sleep,” Kurogane orders, pulling away from Fai, who lets out a soft, displeased noise at the loss of contact.

“School?” Fai croaks, a little blearily.

“You’re not going,” Kurogane says, shaking his head. “I’ll call in for you.”

“But – ” Fai protests, struggling to sit up.

“You’re sick,” Kurogane interrupts. “I’m not going to let you infect everyone else.”

“I’m fine,” Fai insists, although he sneezes immediately after getting the words out.

“You’d probably claim you’re fine while lying on your fucking deathbed,” Kurogane snorts, and it should come out as teasing, but Kurogane’s disturbed by how accurate it seems once he’s said it. “You’re not going.”

Fai’s silent for a moment, studying him with tired eyes.

“Alright,” he finally says. “Just give me a moment to gather up my things – ”

“What are you talking about?” Kurogane asks, frowning. “I just said that I’m not letting you go to work.”

“Which means I’m going to spend all day being miserable at home,” Fai answers, as if this is the conclusion Kurogane should also have come to.

“No, it means you’re staying right here,” Kurogane says slowly. “I’m not inflicting you on the rest of Tokyo. You’ll cause a goddamn epidemic.”

Which might be something of an over exaggeration, but Kurogane’s still reeling a little from the fact that Fai thought he’d just kick him out onto the street to fend for himself.

“There’s some leftover miso soup in the fridge which should still be good,” Kurogane says as he sheds his pajamas and starts getting dressed. “Cough medicine is in the bathroom, in the cabinet above the sink, and extra tissues are in the hall closet.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Fai replies, giving Kurogane a nervous smile, like he doesn’t quite know what to make of this situation, despite the fact that he appeared on Kurogane’s doorstep the previous night without the slightest of forewarning and made himself at home.

“Look,” Kurogane says, his tone frustrated. “I don’t like seeing – ” _people I love_ “ – my friends sick. Just rest here so I won’t spend the day wondering whether you’ve collapsed on a street corner or something.”

He tries not to think about his mother, feverish and coughing, confined to bed through her final days. He’s not lying when he says he doesn’t like seeing people sick.

Fai sighs, flopping back down onto his back, and says, “Kuro-tan’s so overprotective.”

“Well you like death warmed over,” Kurogane retorts, pulling a shirt over his head. “And the more you rest, the sooner you’ll be able to leave.”

“You know, people are really going to gossip if you call in sick for me,” Fai says, changing the topic slightly.

“Does it matter?” Kurogane asks, his shoulders tensing, trying to not be hurt by the fact that Fai is so obviously against the mere thought of people assuming they’re together. “No one gives a shit about Tōya and Yukito.”

“Kuro-sama’s so strong, not caring what people say about him,” Fai says, his tone teasing.

“Shut up,” Kurogane grumbles. “It’ll be fine – stop worrying and go back to sleep.”

Fai opens his mouth to reply, but he’s cut off by a loud sneeze. Kurogane rolls his eyes and picks up a box of tissues from the top of the dresser, throwing them towards Fai. Gently.

“If anything happens, call me,” Kurogane orders, in his most no-nonsense tone.

“Have fun at work, dear,” Fai says, mockingly blowing him a kiss.

Kurogane glares and tries to resist the urge to do something stupid, like kiss Fai gently on the forehead before leaving. In the end, he settles for saying, “Don’t die in my apartment, idiot,” before heading off to work.

\---

When Kurogane gets home from work, Fai’s still alive. Not only that, he’s managed to migrate from the bedroom to the living room, curled up on the couch and draped in what seems like every blanket Kurogane owns. Next to the couch is a trash can, overflowing with tissues, and on the coffee table is a bowl, a tiny bit of miso soup still at the bottom.

“The hardworking husband returns home from work,” Fai teases, but it falls a little flat with the scratchiness of his voice.

“How are you feeling?” Kurogane asks, not dignifying Fai’s comment with a response.

“Much better now that you’re here,” Fai answers, batting his eyelashes at Kurogane, who rolls his eyes.

“I meant that seriously, idiot,” Kurogane huffs, draping his coat over the back of the couch and moving to the kitchen to set down his keys on the counter.

“I’m fine,” Fai replies, his tone going a little sharp. “I don’t need your concern.”

“Look, I’m not trying to – ” Kurogane says, trying not to snap and get angry. “I just worry.”

“And I’m telling you you don’t need to,” Fai replies coolly, lips turning down in a scowl. “It’s just a cold. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“My mother died of pneumonia,” Kurogane snaps, catching Fai off guard, his eyes widening. “So I’m going to take care of you if you like it or not.”

Silence falls over the room for a moment, and Kurogane averts his gaze awkwardly. It’s not often that he talks about his mother, but it looks like seeing Fai sick has been getting to him more than he thought.

“I’m sorry, Kuro-sama,” Fai finally says, breaking the silence.

“Not your fault,” Kurogane snorts. “And you’re right, I probably am overreacting, but I’d appreciate it if you’d let me.”

“Okay,” Fai replies, his tone soft.

“I’m making udon,” Kurogane announces, changing the topic and trying to get away from this uncomfortable, raw subject. “Feeling up to eating any?”

“How domestic of you,” Fai answers with a small smile. “I’ll see what I can keep down.”

Kurogane nods stiffly and moves over to the small kitchen area to get to work. Normally he prefers silence when he works, but today he finds himself telling Fai little bits about his day, keeping him updated on the events of school and how the students are doing.

“The kids missed you,” Kurogane says as he cuts up a few green onions. “I think Sakura’s going to start making you get well cards if you’re out of school next week. Yūko said that if you weren’t back on Monday she’d call the police on me.”

“You do have a bit of a serial killer look about you, Kuro-rin,” Fai laughs.

“Shut up,” Kurogane grumbles, but he’s trying to suppress a smile of his own.

“I suppose I’ll have to plan something explosive for Monday,” Fai muses. “That’ll make everyone feel better.”

“Just don’t injure yourself right after recovering from a cold,” Kurogane huffs.

“Have you ever considered becoming a bodyguard, Kuro-pipi?” Fai asks, and Kurogane lets out a snort.

“If I were a bodyguard, I’d be Tomoyo’s, not yours,” Kurogane replies, which abruptly reminds him of something. “Are you meeting with Chii again on Sunday? Do you want me to contact her for you?”

“I texted her this morning,” Fai says, waving off Kurogane’s concerns. “Looks like you’re stuck with me for the weekend.”

Kurogane doesn’t say that there are far worse fates he could imagine. Instead, he busies himself with filling two bowls with udon, bringing them out into the living room and setting them down on the coffee table in front of Kurogane.

“You know, it took me a long time to get the hang of these,” Fai says, picking up his chopsticks. “When I first moved here, I’d just use them to stab everything.”

“Violent,” Kurogane snorts, trying not to show how surprised he is at Fai volunteering information about his past. “And now you’ve progressed to blowing things up. Yūko should be worried about _my_ safety, not yours.”

Fai laughs, a bright, genuine sound, and Kurogane thinks it’s probably the best thing he’s ever heard.

\---

Fai stays for the entire weekend. Three mornings in a row of waking up with Fai still nestled next to him, soft and vulnerable with sleep. Two full days together with Fai sniffling and walking around the apartment bundled up in blankets and Kurogane’s too-large clothing, leaving half-drunk cups of tea in what seems like every nook and cranny. (Kurogane grumbles about it every time he finds one, but he secretly finds it more endearing than truly annoying.)

It’s disturbingly domestic and Kurogane doesn’t want it to end.

However, Fai’s feeling mostly recovered by Sunday afternoon, no longer woozy and going through far less tissues than before. It’s good, Kurogane tells himself, that Fai is feeling better. Still, he wants some sort of excuse to make Fai say just one more night. So far he’s come up with nothing.

“I should go back to my place for tonight,” Fai says as he helps dry the dishes from lunch. “I have some homework assignments and such I still need to grade.”

Kurogane makes a grunt of agreement, not trusting himself to actually say anything.

“Thank you,” Fai continues, giving Kurogane a look he can’t quite interpret. “I probably destroyed all of your weekend plans – ”

“Didn’t have any,” Kurogane interrupts, his tone even.

“Really? There aren’t crowds of people vying for your attention, Kuro-sama?” Fai teases, the corners of his lips twitching up into a smile. “Ah, or maybe you were just using me as an excuse to hide from your adoring fans.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re on something,” Kurogane snorts, rising off the last plate in the sink.

“Just say no to drugs, Kuro-tan,” Fai says, mock-serious. “I can’t believe you’d accuse me of something like that!”

“You’re right, clearly it’s just your personality,” Kurogane replies dryly, and Fai hits him lightly with the dishcloth in his hands.

“I really was trying to be serious for a moment, though,” Fai says, his expression sobering. “Thank you very much for looking after me this weekend.”

“It’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” Kurogane grumbles, his cheeks heating slightly.

“Yeah,” Fai says after a moment, his tone almost wistful. “Friends.”

“We _are_ friends,” Kurogane replies, his tone firm. “I don’t care if you think otherwise.”

“No, we are, that’s not – ” Fai sputters, and for a moment Kurogane thinks he sees Fai’s cheeks go a little pink. “I just enjoyed this weekend.” His lips turn up in a smirk. “Especially since Kuro-pon so generously cooked for me and brought me all my meals in bed.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” Kurogane grumbles, not admitting that it was something his father used to do for his mother when she was feeling unwell. Not that he’s comparing himself and Fai to his parents.

“I should get going now,” Fai says once he’s placed the final plate back in its spot in the cupboard. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, though, Kuro-mun.”

“Don’t die, now that I’m not monitoring you twenty-four/seven,” Kurogane huffs, trying not to think about how easy it would be to lean over and give Fai a simple goodbye kiss.

“I think I can do that,” Fai laughs. “Don’t get too lonely without me.”

“Somehow I think I’ll manage,” Kurogane replies dryly, although he can already tell that his apartment is going to feel far too empty without Fai sprawled out on the sofa or bed.

Fai collects the last of his things and then leaves. Kurogane finds himself staring blankly at the blankets still piled in a small mound on his couch, unable to quite find the will to move them. In the end, he accidentally falls asleep on the couch, curled up in them.

\---

Somehow, part of Kurogane had assumed that their relationship would be irreversibly different after their weekend together, but their first day back at work together is surprisingly routine. Yūko makes salacious innuendos about what they must have been doing all weekend and Fai just laughs it off while Kurogane grumbles. The kids are glad to have Fai back, even though he was technically only absent for a day, and, as promised, the day’s chemistry lesson involves blowing something up.

Apparently Fai’s sex-drive is back full force, too, because they end up making out in Kurogane’s office for a good half-hour. It would have probably devolved into full-blown sex, too, if a student hadn’t come by looking to talk to Fai about his chemistry grade.

(Kurogane tries not to think about how apparently students now know to always check his office second, if Fai isn’t in his own office. Not the staff room, or the cafeteria, or anywhere else – _his office_.)

Before he leaves to go talk to the student, Fai murmurs, “Your place, after school?” in Kurogane’s ear, and Kurogane must make some sort of nod in agreement, because Fai grins at him, before practically sauntering away.

It’s been a while since they had sex, and Kurogane would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it, but at the same time he knows that come morning, when Fai’s trying to sneak out of bed again, he’s only going to feel like shit. He can’t bring himself to say no when Fai sidles up next to him after school, though, a heated look in his eyes.

Fai has a hand on Kurogane’s arm the entire subway ride back to Kurogane’s apartment, and when they finally get inside, the door closing behind him, he doesn’t hesitate to press his entire body up against Kurogane’s.

Their lips collide in a kiss, an almost desperate edge to it, and Kurogane lets Fai press him back up against the door. Fai nips at his bottom lip and delves inside Kurogane’s mouth with his tongue, hand fumbling to unzip the top of Kurogane’s track-suit. Kurogane’s own hands gravitate towards Fai’s hips, the tips of his fingers teasing at the skin just under the waistband of Fai’s pants.

“Bedroom,” Fai pants, pulling back for a moment, his eyes dark and his lips swollen.

Somehow they manage to make it all the way to the bed, although Kurogane loses his shirt in the process, and Fai his belt and shoes. Fai pushes Kurogane down onto the bed, crawling on top of him and leaning down to trail kisses over the tanned skin on Kurogane’s neck. He continues further down, biting a bruise over Kurogane’s collarbone and kissing down his chest, taking another minor detour to plant a kiss in the dip of Kurogane’s hipbone.

Fai pulls away, then, to pull off his own shirt, while Kurogane fumbles to undo his pants, kicking them off along with his shoes and socks, until both of them are finally naked together. Fai takes a moment to lean over to Kurogane’s bedside table, fishing a half-empty bottle of lube from the top drawer.

“Get me ready so I can ride you,” Fai says, his voice a little breathy and Kurogane can’t help the moaned, “Fuck,” that escapes his mouth when Fai says that.

He hastily opens the bottle of lube, spilling some over his fingers and not really caring if he makes a mess of the sheets under them. He reaches back to tease his fingers over Fai’s hole, Fai pressing back against him almost instinctively.

Fai moans when he presses the first finger inside, the ring of muscle opening easily for him. As much as he’d love to bury himself inside Fai as soon as possible, though, he always takes his part slowly, allowing Fai to full adjust to the feeling of something inside him before adding another finger.

“C’mon,” Fai pants, eyes a little glassy with pleasure as he rolls his hips, fucking himself back onto Kurogane’s finger.

“You’re so goddamn impatient,” Kurogane mutters, and Fai laughs. He adds another finger, though, stretching Fai open wider and carefully searching for that sweet spot inside of him. It doesn’t take all that long to find – he and Fai have been having sex for quite a long time, after all – and soon enough Fai’s biting off a curse, his cheeks and cock flushed prettily.

“I’m ready,” Fai insists as Kurogane adds another finger. “I’m ready, just – ”

Kurogane cuts him off with a kiss, but removes his fingers. Fai breaks the kiss only a moment later to grab a condom from the bedside table, ripping it open and rolling it down on Kurogane’s cock with practiced ease.

Then, he sinks down onto Kurogane’s cock.

“Fuck,” Kurogane hisses, fighting to keep from fucking right up into Fai, trying to give him time to adjust to the feeling of being filled. Fai smirks, like he knows just how hard Kurogane’s fighting to keep control, and then carefully pushes himself up a little before sinking back down.

Kurogane lets out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan as Fai does it again, quickly falling into a fast rhythm. Kurogane bucks up into Fai, trying to find that sweet spot again, pleased when Fai’s breath hitches and he loses his rhythm for a moment, blunt fingernails digging into Kurogane’s abdomen.

He thrusts up again, harder, but Fai gives as good as he gets, matching Kurogane’s pace and working them both quickly toward orgasm. Kurogane manages to find the wherewithal to wrap a hand around Fai’s cock, letting him thrust forward into his fist, and it only takes a few more stuttering bounces before Fai’s coming across Kurogane’s chest with a low moan. Kurogane’s not far behind, fucking up into Fai a couple more times before coming inside him, fingers digging into Fai’s hips.

Fai slumps down against him, accidentally smearing the mess of come between them even more, Kurogane’s cock slipping out of him. They’re both still breathing heavily, and Kurogane winds an arm around Fai’s waist, holding him close.

“I think I might need a short nap before I leave,” Fai says with a breathy laugh, and Kurogane feels himself tense up, the afterglow ruined by the reminder that Fai’s not staying.

“At least clean up first,” Kurogane grumbles, already feeling Fai’s come starting to dry on his skin.

“I did all the hard work, Kuro-pon,” Fai retorts, giving Kurogane his best pleading look. “Clean-up should be your job.”

Kurogane mutters something unsavory, but pushes Fai off of him and drags himself out of bed to grab a washcloth from the bathroom. Fai’s already starting to drift off when Kurogane gets back, and Kurogane’s careful not to be too rough about cleaning him up.

When he’s finished and climbs back into bed next to Fai, he throws his arm over Fai’s side and pulls him close without even really thinking about it.

\---

Fai’s still there when Kurogane wakes up, his back pressed up against Kurogane’s chest and Kurogane’s arm still slung over his side. Kurogane blinks blearily over at the clock on his bedside table, expecting it to be sometime in the evening, but is surprised to find that it’s actually six-fourteen in the morning.

Fai actually stayed the whole night again. Kurogane really hopes he’s not reading too much into this.

“Kuro – ?” Fai mumbles sleepily, blinking his eyes open, and turning over onto his back.

Kurogane doesn’t reply, too entranced by how good Fai looks in his bed – his hair soft and messy, his eyes still cloudy with sleep. He leans forward without really thinking about it, capturing Fai’s lips in the softest, lightest of kisses. There’s no intent to it, no tongue, no teeth, and it lasts barely a second, just a brief press of lips.

As Kurogane pulls away, he sees Fai’s eyes widen, and he wonders just how much he revealed with that impulsive kiss.

“You should say over more often,” Kurogane says, his voice rough with sleep, deciding to put everything out on the table.

“I think I need to leave,” Fai blurts out, and the space he puts between them in nothing short of jarring. “I should really – ”

He’s sliding out of the bed and gathering up his clothes before Kurogane can even process his outburst, and by the time in fully sinks in, Fai’s already half dressed, shirt hastily pulled on and fly still undone.

“Fai – ” Kurogane starts, but Fai cuts him off with a stuttered, “I still have homework to grade and – ”

Kurogane watches helplessly as Fai practically runs out the door, shoes untied and belt hanging loose. In the flurry of Fai’s retreat, Kurogane hasn’t even managed to drag himself out of the bed, still naked beneath the covers and warm with the residual heat of Fai pressed against him. He stares at the bedroom doorway for a long moment, trying not to feel like Fai’s just stabbed him through the chest.

Kurogane falls back down against the bed and stares up at the ceiling, wondering if maybe he should just call in sick today.

\---

He does end up calling in sick. If Yūko sees through him, she doesn’t call him out on it, which Kurogane is grateful for.

Part of him feels like he should be angry – angry at Fai for stamping all over his heart, for not even having the decency to _talk_ with him about it for a moment – but instead he just feels listless. Drained, like someone sucked his soul right out of him and left just his body.

If he’s angry at anyone, he’s angry at _himself_ for acting so pathetically over something as simple as an unrequited crush. What he feels for Fai is actually more complicated than a crush, _much_ more complicated, but he knew before he said anything that Fai’s reaction was a completely possible one, but he impulsively went ahead and asked him to stay anyway.

Eventually Kurogane manages to muster up the energy to get out of bed and finds himself at Sōma’s studio, taking out his anger on a kendo training dummy. It helps somewhat, but not much. When he gets out of the shower, afterwards, he checks his phone and finds five texts. There are two from Tomoyo, which he expects, demanding to know what happened to him, but the other three…

The other three are from Fai.

Kurogane hesitates for a moment, wondering if he should even read them, but then breaks down and opens them.

_I think I forgot my wallet at your place. Could you bring it to me?_ reads the first one, and Kurogane kind of feels like putting his fist through the wall. The second text is an address, and the third one is just: _please_.

Part of him wants to delete them, and then possibly Fai’s number, but he finds himself hesitating.

Fai gave him his address.

It’s stupid that something so small should be so significant, but somehow it is, because Fai could have easily asked if he could come over to pick up his wallet from Kurogane’s place, but instead he willing gave out his address. Kurogane’s pretty sure the only other person who knows it is Yūko, and that’s because of employment paperwork.

Then again, maybe he’s reading too much into this.

He thinks about it all the way back to his apartment from Sōma’s studio. When he gets home, he finds Fai’s wallet on the ground near the foot of the bed. He picks it up and stares at it for a moment, still indecisive, but then slips it into his pocket.

Maybe this is his opportunity to actually talk to Fai about the situation, convince him to at least give dating him a try instead of just rejecting him point-blank.

Fai’s apartment building ends up being farther away from Kurogane’s than he’d imagined. Kurogane’s place is certainly out of the way for Fai, at any rate, and Kurogane tries to convince himself not to read too far into that.

Inside the building, he takes the stairs instead of the elevator, trying to compose what he’s going to say as he climbs. Nothing he concocts sounds right, though, either too sappy or too harsh, and he finds himself in front of Fai’s door without any clue what to say.

He knocks anyway.

Fai answers the door looking harried, and then surprised, like he hadn’t been expecting Kurogane to actually come.

“Your wallet,” Kurogane grunts, practically shoving it into Fai’s hands, and then turning to leave, all his courage vanishing.

“Wait,” Fai says, his hand darting out to grip Kurogane’s arm, stopping him. Kurogane turns back to look at him, trying to keep his expression stoic. “Do you want to come inside?”

“Do you want to talk or just have sex again?” Kurogane asks, unable to keep the sharpness from his tone.

“Talk,” Fai replies, his grip on Kurogane’s arm loosening. “Talk and maybe eat. I made soba.”

That makes Kurogane pause. Soba’s one of his favorite foods, and he’s sure he’s mentioned it to Fai before.

He accepts the peace offering and follows Fai inside the apartment.

“Give me one moment,” Fai mutters, disappearing into what Kurogane assumes is the kitchen and leaving Kurogane in the living room.

He finds himself gravitating over to a row of shelves on one wall. Most of them are filled to the brim with books, but one of them has a neat row of framed photographs instead. The photos are mainly of Chii and an older, dark-haired man who Kurogane assumes is Fai’s adoptive father, but there’s one photo in the back left corner that stands out.

It looks out of place in a frame. Obvious wrinkles and creases decorate it, and its most eye-catching feature is the tear right down the middle, carefully taped back together. The actually photographic contents is even more surprising, though, because out of the picture gaze two young boys, blond haired, blue eyed, and in every way identical.

“Of course you’d find that one first,” Fai says from behind Kurogane, startling him slightly.

“You have a twin?” Kurogane asks, because what else is he supposed to say?

“Had,” Fai corrects, his expression shuttering, and Kurogane decides not to press the subject. “Come on.”

Kurogane follows Fai over to a small dining table where two plates of soba have already been set out. Kurogane takes a seat a little awkwardly, wondering if he should start eating, or wait for Fai to talk.

“I’m sorry,” Fai says abruptly, breaking the silence. “I didn’t react well this morning.”

Kurogane can’t quite hold back his snort of agreement. Talk about an understatement.

“I’ve never been in a relationship before,” Fai admits, catching Kurogane off guard. “So I don’t really know what I’m doing. I have… baggage.”

“I don’t care about your past,” Kurogane says, his voice firm, and the small ember of hope in his chest flaring back to life.

“While I appreciate the sentiment,” Fai replies, the smallest of smiles on his face, “I can’t really separate my past from myself. It’s part of me. I don’t always know how to interact with people because of it, and sometimes I have trouble processing my own emotions.”

“I care for you very deeply,” Kurogane says slowly, studying Fai carefully.

“I – ” Fai starts, faltering slightly. “I care for you, too.”

“I would like to date you,” Kurogane continues, as if that wasn’t already clear.

“Me too,” Fai finally manages.

“That’s all I need to hear,” Kurogane replies, the tension finally draining from his shoulders.

“I’m probably going to fuck up a lot,” Fai says with a small, self-deprecating laugh.

“I see a therapist every other week for anger management issues,” Kurogane admits, not quite meeting Fai’s eyes. Tomoyo, Sōma, and Ms. Daidōji are the only ones who know his anger issues aren’t just a quirk of his personality.

“Are you trying to say that you’re messed up too, Kuro-chi?” Fai asks, his lips twitching up into the barest hint of a smile.

“I’m saying that we’re both probably going to fuck up, and I understand if you don’t feel comfortable with telling me about your past yet,” Kurogane says, reaching across the table and covering Fai’s hand with his own. Fai seems surprised by the gesture, but doesn’t pull away from him, instead relaxing into his touch.

“Thank you,” Fai replies, a real smile spreading across his lips. “Now eat your soba. I made it especially for you, Kuro-sama. I don’t even like the taste.”

“I don’t know if I can date someone who doesn’t like soba,” Kurogane says, his tone dry. He’s a little worried it’s too early to make those sorts of jokes, but Fai just looks amused.

“There’s chocolate cake for desert,” Fai replies, smirking, and Kurogane’s pretty sure he makes a disgruntled face, because Fai laughs. “Relationships are about compromise, aren’t they?”

“I guess they are,” Kurogane sighs.

Fai leans over to place a light kiss on his cheek and Kurogane decides that enduring Fai’s sweet-tooth is a minor inconvenience if he can have all this.

**Author's Note:**

> (the swedish phrase fai says means "one language is never enough" :D)
> 
> my anime/manga tumblr is [bi-d-flourite](http://bi-d-flourite.tumblr.com/), but if you're interested, my main tumblr (mainly teen wolf and marvel) is [authorkurikuri](http://authorkurikuri.tumblr.com/)


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